What to do when Your Sloth of a Significant Other is Making You Fat


Fat and happy...or just fat?
Fat and happy…or just fat?

It’s a problem that’s all too common.  When people are single and still on the hunt, they’ve got motivation to keep in tip top shape (or at least, their version of tip top shape).  While you’re mom may think your squishy little beer belly is adorable, I’d be willing to bet the fairer sex has other thoughts.  So you’re working out, doing your thing, heeding the call of your inner beast, generally trying to position yourself as the highest quality mate.  Congratulations, you’re making at least half an effort.

But then it happens.  Maybe it’s by chance, maybe that intensive 3-day serial dater bootcamp seminar is paying it’s dividends, or maybe you’re actually not half bad; in any case, you’ve landed yourself a significant other.  What a relief, you think to yourself – now you don’t have to worry about dying alone, pathetic, and miserable! Ehhhh…maybe, maybe not.

So things are going great and life has never been better.  But around the sixth month mark, things start to get a little comfortable….some may say, a little too comfortable.  You’ve backed off going to the gym five days a week.  Your meals have gradually moved from being mostly green and fresh to whatever comes out of that box in the freezer.  You’re slowly losing your desire to stay in that “top dog” shape.

Sloth's are cool and all...but I don't really want to date one...
Sloth’s are cool and all…but I don’t really want to date one…

But it’s not all your fault.  Perhaps your boyfriend/girlfriend also shares some of the blame.  Are their bad habits rubbing off on you?  Did her mostly salad diet turn into mostly carbs after she met you?  Does he/she like staying in bed until noon every weekend?  Well, there goes your early morning bike rides.  Is he/she okay ordering off the bar menu when you go out to watch the game…rather than waiting for a healthier option elsewhere?

For many couples, the problem only gets worse as time wears on.  As you head into year two, the gym may be a distant memory of the past.  Fried sampler platters at T.G.I.Friday’s are becoming all too familiar.  Your significant others poor taste in food has you eating at the Cheesecake Factory or P.F. Chang’s more than you’d like to admit…….and what’s worse, you’re actually starting to think their food is good too.  What’s become of you?  You’ve become a slovenly, pathetic ghost of the happy, fit, and healthy person you used to be.

Fortunately for you, this isn’t the end of the road – you’ve still got time to get things under control.  You’ve got a couple of options.  First, you could slowly, but surely guilt them into changing.  Call them fat, make them feel bad about themselves, mention how great his/her friends have been looking lately, disapprovingly look them up and down and then say “oh, nothing…” when they ask what you’re looking at.  Over time, this passive aggressive approach will either produce the results you want or completely blow up in your face.  I’m making no guarantees, so let me know how it works for you.

If that approach doesn’t fit your fancy, there may be another way to bring about a little change in your relationship.  Check out these 5 tips to get things moving in the healthy direction again….

  1. Make a plan together.  By virtue of having a significant other, you’re always going to have that workout partner, or at the very least, someone to hold you accountable.  Come up with a plan and do your best to hold each other accountable for what you set out to do.
  2. Go shopping together.  When one person goes shopping alone, far too often they’ll end up buying a bunch of crap they know they shouldn’t….and you’ll end up eating it anyways.  When you go shopping, it’s like having a little checks and balance system – discuss each purchase and decide if it’s going to help or hurt you reach your goals.
  3. Seek out new things to do.  Challenge each other to break free from old routines.  Pick up some new (active) hobbies and get out there and do them.  Sleeping until noon every Saturday and Sunday is lame, and you know it.  Don’t let your boy/girlfriend bring you down.  Get them excited about something you’re interested in, and go at it full force.
  4. Hold mini-contests. Doesn’t matter what they are, just do something to keep your competitive juices flowing.  Maybe it’s a little weight loss challenge, or clean eating test.  It doesn’t matter.  The point is, when you’re living with someone else it’s easy to create a little healthy competition which may end up getting your lifestyle back on track.
  5. Dump them. Yup, that’s right.  Dump them.  Kick them to the curb.  If you’re with a person who constantly brings you down, lazes around all day on the couch, enjoys eating fried stuff that used to make you cringe, and is generally a living, breathing, landfill….ditch the dud.  Of course, you should probably give them a chance to change, but if they won’t, you know what to do.  You’ll be so much better off once you free yourself of that unhealthy mess, I doubt you’ll miss them once they’re gone.

At the end of the day, you’ve got to take your life in your own hands.  Don’t let a sloth of a significant other bring you down.  You are your own person – and just maybe seeing you improve your habits will light a fire under your significant others squishy butt.  Take change, get your life back, and do what you’ve got to do to be the healthy and happy person you once were.

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